Sweden...
You know you're from Sweden when...
- You go seriously sentimental when entering an IKEA store outside the borders of Sweden.
- You have a tendency to not divide words when you write in English, since "särskrivning" is a sin.
- You have serious difficulties crossing the street when there is a red light. Even when there are no cars.
- You don't consider a congregation of trees being a "real" forrest unless it takes at least 20 minutes to drive through it.
- You know that it is not true, but you like to believe that there is a massive difference between the taste of "julmust" and "påskmust".
- You like things in general to be "lagom".
- You have at one point, or more, during your childhood attempted to fabricate something that you learnt how to make from watching "Hajk".
- You love Kalles Caviar. Everyone else outside Scandanavia hates it.
- You don't mind waking up way too early during the first 24 days of December in order to watch 15 minutes of TV's annual Advent Calendar.
- You expect people to be drinking at least a bottle of vodka each, and think that's perfectly normal.
- Your ideal breakfast consists of a slice of bread with egg och kalles kaviar, and a big cup of O'boy.
- After having realized that someone is standing on your foot in the subway, you think that the best idea is to not say anything at all, or maybe cough or nod a little in order to attract the attention of the person standing on your foot.
- You secretly consider Sweden the best place on earth and that Swedes are the most intelligent and beautiful people in the world.
- You think that all things Astrid Lindgren ever wrote, sums up all the good things about being Swedish.
- You wake up with BIG hang-overs on the days after April 30th (Valborg) and December 13th (Lucia).
- You would rather stand up on the bus for an hour than bother the person who's handbag is currently occupying the last available seat.
- You look forward all year for August when you get to gather your friends, put on stupid paper hats, drink Vodka, sing and eat crayfish.
- You only consider hair on the verge of being "white", blond. Everything else is just very bright brown hair.
- Even though jumping into haybales is really gross you'd still do it and love it because "Bullerby Barnen" did it.
- You hate to 'lose face' in public, and will act like everyone else to prevent this from happening.
- You consider it tradition to get wasted and dance around a giant penis symbol stuck in the ground every summer.
- You consider it a sin to record Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) on the video at Christmas.
- You brag about the free healthcare and the free school system to every non-swede that you have a political conversation with.
- You feel bad if you're not outside on a sunny day.
- You find it completely normal, when going to a pre-party (förfest), that everyone has their own "Systembolaget"-bag in the fridge, and notoriously keep track of which liquor is their liquor.
- You don't consider going to Norway, Denmark or Finland as leaving Sweden.
Det var då så sant som det var sagt..